Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Personal histories and experiences color the way we feel and respond to each other. When conflict is not resolved directly and constructively, couples sometimes develop patterns of negative interaction. Partners may try to get their needs met through escalating behavior patterns of attention–seeking or criticism. One or both may withdraw and build walls to protect themselves.
When life’s challenges and stresses are at their worst is when partners need each other the most, but these strained interactions can result in hurt feelings, anger, and emotional distance. Partners may end up feeling unheard and unloved.
In couples therapy, the goal is to change the negative interaction between partners. This often involves helping the couple to communicate in such a way that each partner feels heard and understood. Instead of focusing on their own needs, each person can learn to consider the needs and feelings of their partner, so that together they can create a new paradigm that meets the needs of both.
Marriage Counseling A Better Way
Most people want a safe and secure intimate relationship. One in which they can be themselves, have their needs met, and satisfy the needs of their partner. Developing communication skills and changing specific behaviors is important, but not the essence of how I work. Developing a safe, secure, deeply satisfying, and emotionally connected relationship is my true goal.
Our work together will focus on ensuring that you and your partner will be there for each other. I will help each individual in the relationship know that they matter to their partner. I will help each of you ask directly and openly for what you need, and to caringly respond to your partner’s desires. I will help you to enjoy sharing your lives and to make new, positive memories.